What a year of living in Finland, Portugal, Spain and London taught me about hope
In 2022, I embarked on a digital nomad adventure around Europe. Little did I know that it would also become a school of hopefulness and make me reinvent my belief system and worldviews.
Phase 1: Finland – Darkness is a choice
In my home country, Finland, winters are dark and last for months. During these dark times, I’ve often found myself working long hours (or doing marathons on reality TV), mostly because there’s not much else to do. At some point, these hours spent in fluorescent lights make you question the choice of home country and whether there’s a point in succumbing to the dark months year after year. Would life be a bit more colourful and the nights more vibrant somewhere else?
Throughout the years, I’ve taken many short and one-month-long workations around the world. But as the darkness started falling after the summer of 2022, I knew I needed a bigger shift of scenery.
On November 1st I migrated to the Southwestern coast of Portugal. There I stayed in a conscious coliving community for three months with 15 other remote workers or digital nomads (depending on their chosen identity). Little did I know that was the beginning of a much bigger journey. One that would not only change my personal belief system but also lead me to build a coaching business around the concept of hope.
Phase 2: Portugal – Getting high on hope
In Portugal, I spent my evenings having deep conversations with my fellow habitants, attended spiritual events and took cold plunges in the wintery waters of the Atlantic.
It didn’t take me too long to realise that the conversations I had with these people were completely different to those I had with my friends back home in Finland.
I could start my morning by brewing coffee in my coliving’s shared kitchen and end up talking about the personal growth discovery a fellow flatmate had made the previous night. Instead of reading the news, people read self-help books.
Instead of talking about their busy lives, people spoke about the purpose they were seeking in their careers.
At the time, Europe was approaching severe economic turbulence, the war in Ukraine was raging on, and people were becoming more and more frightened of the interest rates that were ahead of them (mine rose from nearly 0% to 4% during the following year and doubled the monthly payments of my mortgage in Finland).
The calls I had with my friends back home were filled with worry and administrative ponderings. People’s brains were occupied by the stressful jobs, the political landscape, and whatever the news was saying about how bad things might get.
Somehow, that frightfulness didn’t quite reach my community life in the western Algarve. The people I met were full of ideas and full of belief in a future of possibilities.
So I had to stop and have a serious look at what was going on:
The sun was shining. The sun does have an obvious impact on energy levels and the ability to fight depression. I could see it in myself and others very clearly throughout that winter. Optimism is just a bit easier to maintain in the sun.
Many of the people around me were senior experts at their jobs, who were either self-employed or had managed to negotiate a pretty sweet remote work deal for themselves, enabling them to make a steady income whilst being abroad.
Most of us came from privileged economies with high incomes to begin with.
Many of us were on a spiritual journey. Many were looking for a purpose or had already found one. They had made conscious choices about their lives and what they wanted from them. They were focused on elevating their internal experience of life in addition to their external circumstances. This could mean learning new skills, seeking spiritual experiences, spending time in nature, surfing, having deep talks, practicing yoga, being completely sober (or finding psychedelic experiences), having a vegan diet, taking time off from your mobile phone or limiting news intake.
As a consequence of the facts presented above, none of us were in a flurry of being extremely busy and unable to take a break in the middle of the day. We had the luxury of taking a walk and smelling the flowers. The luxury of being present.
This experience strengthened a belief I’d already been developing within myself for years: you choose your experience of the world.
There will always be people who choose to live from hope, as well as there will always be people who choose to live from hopelessness. And this choice doesn’t have to have anything to do with your circumstances.
Like my Portuguese energy healer told me when I was preparing for a visit to Finland during my stay in Portugal: you can choose to not take part in the negativity and protect yourself from it.
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Phase 3: Spain – Will I stay hopeful when life gets tough?
In February I woke up with a feeling I hadn’t had for almost two years. Depression. I’ve struggled with depression in the past and become best friends with the different moods it brings. This sunny February morning I encountered one of them.
I was lying in bed, in a new home we had just moved into with my partner in the Southeast coast of Spain. We rented it for a month to take a breather from living with others. The sun was still shining every day, I was happy about my life, and nothing was really wrong with anything. Yet, this fog of depression was lingering above me. Again, I had to start asking questions.
After a busy January, my work had slowed down and I realised I was dead scared of losing my income. At the time, I was doing quite a bit of freelance work and since I was working remotely, I wasn’t having any catch-ups with clients offline, meeting new people, creating networks and all of that. The beach town we lived in Spain was a bit of a ghost town in February, it didn’t have that bustling digital nomad culture we’d become accustomed to in Portugal and the siestas lasted until 9 pm. We didn’t know anybody in the area, so it became quite clear to me that my depressive moods were signs of social isolation and fear.
It started to dawn on me that a nomadic lifestyle, i.e. living in one place for a while and moving on, wasn’t necessarily a choice I could live with for too long. Without a coliving setup, it was hard to make friends in a foreign culture, and the uncertainty of where our next home would be started to drain me.
I was also afraid that this remote work adventure would now fail me. Maybe it wasn’t possible to work in a different place than your clients. Maybe I’d have to return to Finland and accept the harsh realities of the economy and become like the rest of the population – worried. Maybe my moment in the sun was too good to be true and this high I got to experience had now come to an end. I mean, it was kind of too good to be true anyway.
The depressive states I’d had in the past were sometimes paralysing. If you’ve ever experienced depression, you might know what that feels like. There’ve been moments when I just couldn’t get out of bed. It’s a very physical sensation of not being able to gather enough strength to get up. Luckily, I’ve had a lot of therapy and self-help since those days. So in that bed in Spain I realised, I can actually get up and this feeling shall pass. So I did. And it did.
But the experience shook me.
I started to take actions that could jank me out of my depressive state. I also got a little help from my friend, the universe.
I got a text from a friend in Finland, telling me about a freelance gig that she thought I might be perfect for. I ended up getting that gig and also managed to sell a piece of writing for a newspaper. These things boosted my confidence and got me doing creative work again. I got a sense of purpose for my days.
So, the list of hopeful living gained two new bullet points:
Being on constant vacation is not a hopeful state. Having a sense of purpose and doing something that gives you joy is.
The combination of isolation, a quiet environment and a lack of work isn’t a recipe for success. Even though I’m a big fan of embracing a peaceful lifestyle and avoiding too much stress, I believe that we as human beings thrive when we have something that challenges us and urges action. Doing something is a hopeful act in itself.
Phase 4: London – Should I just accept the harsh realities of life and resort to escapism instead?
The reality of the world we live in caught up with me once again as my British partner’s visa in the EU ran out (thanks to Brexit) and we had to move our lives to the UK. In the spring of 2023, we found a ridiculously expensive one-bedroom flat in East London and brought our suitcases there.
Our new life in London was accompanied by a month of rain every day. The sunshine I was used to by then was gone.
The harsh realities of city life were back on my daily radar. The cost-of-living crisis was hitting the UK hard, more and more people were homeless, the freelancers I met at my coworking were lacking gigs to sustain their livelihoods. I was making my money in euros and the currency exchange rate from EUR to GDP meant I lost a couple hundred units of spending power every month. For the first time in my adult life, I felt like I should be making more money to live the lifestyle I had become used to.
Again, I had to adjust my lifestyle.
The need to make money comes with a certain level of ambition and expectation of success. Here, people around me worked hard and wanted to create big things. I became inspired by them and got new energy to develop myself professionally. I started nurturing my ambitious and achievement-oriented self and became focused on work. (It was also an easy escape from the fact that I didn’t have much life outside of work.)
I hired a coach to help me think where I wanted to take my business and that commitment eventually kicked off this project called High on Hope.
I became focused, hard-working and a bit empty inside.
By putting so much emphasis on my work-self, I was losing touch with my spiritual self. I struggled to keep up with my meditation and yoga routines and calm my nervous system. I was buzzing – and not just in a good way. The noise, the people, the busyness and the belief that I needed to be more, make more, and chase success brought me to a state of lack and monotony.
I learned that in this city, many people around me were numbing their ambition-filled brains with parties, alcohol, drugs and consumption. I’m not too much of a party person and quickly learned that escapism doesn’t do me much good. It only makes the emptiness grow bigger.
I hired another coach to support me with my mental well-being and routines for a while and that gave me enough willpower to reconnect with my meditation practice and join a yoga studio.
As a great coincidence, I also made a friend who was going through her own period of personal rediscovery. The deep talks I shared with her became a lifeline. My spiritual, introspective side started to regain space within me again.
That’s when I started to gain more confidence. That’s when I started seeing what kind of business I wanted to create. That’s when I started to believe that if I take care of my spirit and make sure the intentions behind what I do are the right ones, I will be helped by forces bigger than me.
So, the list goes on:
A hopeful mindset can only survive in a healthy body and mind. Taking care of your physical and mental state is a prerequisite to creating things that feel true to you.
Meditation is always the answer. Whenever you lose connection with yourself, meditation has the power to bring you back. If you’re living a very distracted and busy life, meditation is the hardest thing to start but it always helps. You just need to commit to it for a while and push through the frustration before it starts to pay off.
The environment, people and routines you surround yourself with have an immense impact on how you perceive the world. Some environments support a hopeful existence better than others. However, as humans we have the capacity to thrive in any environment if we choose to do so, we just need to understand our needs and find avenues to meet them even if it demands a bit of extra effort.
Finding purpose in your work can help navigate difficult life situations and boost confidence.
All struggles can be solved by taking action. When you understand what’s not working for you, the recipe for fixing it will follow.
Ask and pay for help when you need it. No need to try and make it on your own.
Phase 5: Portugal again – Come what may
At the end of 2023, we returned to Portugal. Partly due to visa reasons (thanks again Brexit) and partly due to our experience of Portugal and its effect on me and my partner. After careful consideration and workshopping, we concluded that we wanted to experience life here in its fullest sense and see whether the positive vibes we had before were sustainable if you combine them with the stressors of real life.
So, again, we packed our lives into suitcases and boxes, transported our existence to the Westernmost corner of Europe and started over.
All of this sounds easy once I turn it into a narrative but oh my, this has been anything but easy. The relocation has demanded hours of apartment hunting online, connecting with agents (and having some of them ghost you), sitting down with taxation experts, learning about visa requirements and social security in different countries, taking risks such as paying two months rent and a deposit upfront without ever seeing the house in real life, sorting both of our commitments in our home countries and making sure we survive the relocation without too much damage to the work that sustains our livelihoods.
Going through this process was draining and effortful and our situation has not come without its insecurities. We don’t know how permanent this choice can be and trying to figure out life beyond a year’s time is difficult. However, I’ve learned that the best way to survive not knowing is by stopping trying to know.
Things will sort themselves out one way or another, as they have so far.
I have developed a belief that life will show where we need to be and what we need to do. I’ve let go of trying to control the outcome or predict the future.
I have newfound respect for my country of origin and the opportunities it has given me. I have immense gratitude for the time I spent in London as it opened new inquiries within me regarding my purpose and the work I want to do.
And every day, I’m grateful for the sun and peaceful existence I get to enjoy here in Portugal. It has given me the space to hear my voice more strongly than ever and make decisions that align with who I am and want to be.
High on Hope is a creation that combines all my past work experiences and the wisdom I’ve gained through this thing called life. It’s a space where I can share what I learn and keep learning more. It’s a combination of wisdom, creativity and ambition – things that make my life feel hopeful and give me a sense of purpose.
I can’t wait to help you unlock your version of these.
And, as a recap, a simplified list of what I call The Hopeful Living Checklist:
Become the hope you wish to see in this world.
With kindness,
Aurora